Is There Such A Thing As A Good Divorce?
We are often approached by clients who have had either a previous personal experience of an acrimonious divorce, or who know of friends and family who have gone through a very difficult divorce process and naturally they are worried at the thought of attempting the process themselves and facing a similar situation. Whether we act for the instigator or the recipient of divorce proceedings, neither client really wishes to be dealing with such difficult issues that arise and any suggestion that the divorce process is too easy is certainly not the case: Clients consider their options very carefully before approaching us with a view to formalising their separation.
However, there is a process now which family lawyers are signing up to in huge numbers and that is Collaborative Law. This is fundamentally changing the way people think about family law. For couples who genuinely seek a fair solution and want to minimise the pain of marriage breakdown, it may well offer the best way ahead.
It has always been the case that where the parties can reach an agreement between themselves or with the assistance of a third party (such as a mediator) then it is far less costly and acrimonious then the traditional approach (i.e. negotiations via opposing solicitors and possible Court proceedings).
With Collaborative Law, both parties are in control of the process. They are able to set the agenda and timescale themselves and deal with issues they feel are important, not necessarily in the order that would be approached using the traditional route. Both parties attend a series of meetings with their lawyers present and there is then a team effort in resolving whatever issues there may be. Both clients will sign what is known as a Participation Agreement which will recite, amongst other things, the fact that they intend to deal with each other in an amicable and respectful manner, that they will work together to try and resolve their differences for the benefit of not only themselves, but also their children and that they will agree to exclude any contested Court intervention. The incentive to stay in this process is strengthened by the rule that if the negotiations break down, then both parties have to instruct new lawyers to continue with their case.
Although not as inexpensive as direct negotiations or possibly even mediation, Collaborative Law does allow separating couples dignity and control over the process.
If you feel that the Collaborative Law approach may be useful in your particular case and that you and your partner would be able to sit down together in meetings such as described above, then do not hesitate to ask your family lawyer for further information. The number of Collaborative Lawyers available is increasing all the time and the knock on effect of this approach is that, even where the traditional route is approached in other perhaps less suitable cases, the lawyers concerned may well have a far more open and friendly approach towards each other as the result of their training and work within the Collaborative process!
Ann Barker, FILEX
Head of Family Law
