Resolving Disputes In Relationship Breakdown
When a relationship with your partner first breaks down, you will most probably feel very emotional and anxious. You will be concerned about your future, the effect on your children, and involvement with the law. There is so much attention to divorce and relationship breakdown in the media, that people often have a false impression of how the system works.
There are however several options for separating couples and, where matters are settled without proceedings, no attendance at Court will be required.
The first step for anyone in this situation should be to seek legal advice. A specialist family lawyer will be able to advise as to your rights and obligations and the various options open to you. Many solicitors offer a fixed fee or even free initial appointment. There is no obligation to take matters further at that point.
Some couples come to a mutual decision about the end of the relationship and find it easier to discuss how they will separate their financial affairs, make arrangements about the children and whether they will pursue divorce proceedings (if appropriate). They may choose to deal with the legal documentation and Court procedure themselves. Most family lawyers will recommend that any financial agreement is drafted by the parties’ lawyers to ensure that it absolutely reflects the agreement reached.
For cohabiting couples, it may simply be that any agreement reached is ratified by way of correspondence between solicitors.
As you may expect, with the minimal involvement of lawyers on this basis, costs can be quite low, but of course this option is not available to everyone, particularly where the breakdown has been acrimonious.
The second option is to seek the assistance of a mediator. This generally involves a separate initial meeting with a mediator (or team of mediators) to explain the process and costs involved. Joint meetings follow, with the mediators attempting to guide both parties to a satisfactory solution. Any agreement reached will be confirmed in a report prepared by the mediator and it is then for the couple to revert to their respective lawyers for the formal steps required.
On average, a couple will need between 3-6 meetings with the mediator. This option should therefore be relatively cost effective.
Once again however this is not a suitable option for everyone. It is often worth an exploratory meeting or two, if nothing else, to identify how far apart the couple may be.
Thirdly, consider Collaborative Law. This concept is new to this country, but increasing in popularity and many lawyers are now qualifying in this field.
The process involves a series of team meetings, (i.e. the couple and their lawyers). Legal advice is therefore on hand, but the couple sign an agreement that they will work towards a settlement in a conciliatory manner and not pursue Court proceedings. The couple control the agenda and therefore the pace and outcome. If the process breaks down, the original solicitors must withdraw and cannot be involved further. Costs are likely to be higher than for mediation.
Finally, there is the traditional approach. Both parties instruct lawyers to represent them and, if no agreement can be reached in correspondence, then Court proceedings are issued and, ultimately, a decision is made by the Court to conclude matters.
All family lawyers should observe the Family Law Protocol, which is a code of practice that determines how solicitors should deal with their clients and the Court.
Many family lawyers are also members of another organisation known as Resolution, which again has a code of practice. You should check that your lawyer is either a member of that organisation and adheres to the code and/or is a member of the Law Society’s Family Panel. Using a non specialist lawyer can lead to increased costs in the long run, as in fact can attempting to deal with all aspects yourselves.
Lawyers obviously charge by the time spent on your case. The more organised you are and the more minor details that are agreed between you before approaching your lawyers (or even during the case), the lower your costs should be.
The law may seem somewhat uncertain when you first begin to approach these matters. This is because the system is flexible and each family has different needs. Apart from maintenance for children, there are no set formulas and instead family lawyers work from their expert knowledge of the system and indications of outcomes from previous cases that now form precedents.
Knowing your options will alleviate some of your concerns and help you to deal with the practicalities of your separation.
